WHERE TO TAP

Ever heard the story of the giant ship engine that failed? The ship's
owners tried one expert after another, but none of them could figure but
how to fix the engine. Then they brought in an old man who had been fixing
ships since he was a youngster. He carried a large bag of tools with him,
and when he arrived, he immediately went to work. He inspected the engine
very carefully, top to bottom.

Two of the ship's owners were there, watching this man, hoping he would
know what to do. After looking things over, the old man reached into his
bag and pulled out a small hammer. He gently tapped something. Instantly,
the engine lurched into life. He carefully put his hammer away. The engine
was fixed! A week later, the owners received a bill from the old man ten
thousand dollars.

"What?!" the owners exclaimed. "He hardly did anything!"

So they wrote the old man a note saying, "Please send us an itemized
bill."

The man sent a bill that read:

Tapping with a hammer ........................ $ 2.00
Knowing where to tap ............................ $ 9998.00

Effort is important, but knowing where to make an effort in your life
makes all the difference.

SOME RULES CAN'T BE FOLLOWED

A manager (a lady ) of a large office noticed a new man one day and told him to come into her office.

"What is your name?" was the first thing she asked the new guy. "John," the new guy replied.
She scowled, "Look... I don't know what kind of a namby-pamby place you worked in before, but I don't call anyone by their first name. It breeds familiarity and that leads to a breakdown in authority. I refer to my employees by their last name only ... Smith, Jones, Baker ...that's all.

I am to be referred to only as Mrs. Robertson. Now that we have got that straight, what is your last name?"

The new guy sighed, "Darling............ My name is John Darling."

"Okay John, the next thing I want to tell you is . . . "