This is amazing guys!
Do u wanna know, where your Girl Friend/Boy friend, Wife or husband is right now???????
A GPS site where you can type in a mobile phone number and it finds exactly where the location person is (assuming the mobile is switched on).
Try it out - it's pretty accurate.
Use your 10 digit Mobile number only………(no landline numbers)
Put in the first 4 digits in the first fields, and the remaining digits in the other field.
CLICK HERE TO ENTER
http://www.sat-gps-locate.com
Monday, August 06, 2007
FIRST KISS
A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night and have dinner with her parents. Since this is such a big event, the girl announces to her boyfriend that after dinner, she would like to go out and make love for the first time.
* * * * * * * * *
Well, the boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex before, so he takes a trip to the pharmacist to get some condoms. He tells the pharmacist it's his first time and the pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour. He tells the boy everything there is to know about condoms and sex.
* * * * * * * * *
At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how manycondoms he'd like to buy, a 3-pack, 10-pack, or family pack. The boy insists on the family pack because he thinks he will be rather busy, it being his first time and all.
* * * * * * * * *
That night, the boy shows up at the girl's parents house and meets his girlfriend at the door. "Oh, I'm so excited for you to meet my parents, come on in!"
* * * * * * * * *
The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table where the girl's parents are seated. The boy quickly offers to say grace and bows his head.
* * * * * * * * *
A minute passes, and the boy is still deep in prayer, with his head down.
* * * * * * * * *
10 minutes pass, and still no movement from the boy.
* * * * * * * * *
Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the girlfriend leans over and whispers to the
boyfriend, "I had no idea you were this religious."
* * * * * * * *
The boy turns, and whispers back, "I had no idea your father was a pharmacist."
* * * * * * * * *
* * * * * * * * *
Well, the boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex before, so he takes a trip to the pharmacist to get some condoms. He tells the pharmacist it's his first time and the pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour. He tells the boy everything there is to know about condoms and sex.
* * * * * * * * *
At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how manycondoms he'd like to buy, a 3-pack, 10-pack, or family pack. The boy insists on the family pack because he thinks he will be rather busy, it being his first time and all.
* * * * * * * * *
That night, the boy shows up at the girl's parents house and meets his girlfriend at the door. "Oh, I'm so excited for you to meet my parents, come on in!"
* * * * * * * * *
The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table where the girl's parents are seated. The boy quickly offers to say grace and bows his head.
* * * * * * * * *
A minute passes, and the boy is still deep in prayer, with his head down.
* * * * * * * * *
10 minutes pass, and still no movement from the boy.
* * * * * * * * *
Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the girlfriend leans over and whispers to the
boyfriend, "I had no idea you were this religious."
* * * * * * * *
The boy turns, and whispers back, "I had no idea your father was a pharmacist."
* * * * * * * * *
APPRECIATION FOR KINDNESS
There was a man who worked for the Post Office whose job it was to
process all the mail that had illegible addresses.
One day, a letter came addressed in a shaky handwriting to God with
no actual address. He thought he should open it to see what it was
about. The letter read:
"Dear God,
I am an 83 year old widow, living on a very small pension..
Yesterday someone stole my purse. It had $100 in it, which was all
the money I had until my next pension check.
Next Sunday is Christmas, and I had invited two of my friends over
for dinner. Without that money, I have nothing to buy food with. I
have no family to turn to, and you are my only hope.
Can you please help me?
Sincerely,
Edna
The postal worker was touched. He showed the letter to all the
other workers. Each one dug into his or her wallet and came up with
a few dollars. By the time he made the rounds, he had collected $96,
which they put into an envelope and sent to the woman.
The rest of the day, all the workers felt a warm glow thinking of
Edna and the dinner she would be able to share with her friends.
Christmas came and went.
A few days later, another letter came from the same old lady to
God. All the workers gathered around while the letter was opened.
It read,
"Dear God,
How can I ever thank you enough for what you did for me? Because
of your gift of love, I was able to fix a glorious dinner for my
friends. We had a very nice day and I told my friends of your
wonderful gift. By the way, there was $4 missing. I think it must
have been those bastards at the Post Office..
The end...
Dats Y I say... Life is a Bitch... But live it...... Dont stop doing Guuuuuud!
process all the mail that had illegible addresses.
One day, a letter came addressed in a shaky handwriting to God with
no actual address. He thought he should open it to see what it was
about. The letter read:
"Dear God,
I am an 83 year old widow, living on a very small pension..
Yesterday someone stole my purse. It had $100 in it, which was all
the money I had until my next pension check.
Next Sunday is Christmas, and I had invited two of my friends over
for dinner. Without that money, I have nothing to buy food with. I
have no family to turn to, and you are my only hope.
Can you please help me?
Sincerely,
Edna
The postal worker was touched. He showed the letter to all the
other workers. Each one dug into his or her wallet and came up with
a few dollars. By the time he made the rounds, he had collected $96,
which they put into an envelope and sent to the woman.
The rest of the day, all the workers felt a warm glow thinking of
Edna and the dinner she would be able to share with her friends.
Christmas came and went.
A few days later, another letter came from the same old lady to
God. All the workers gathered around while the letter was opened.
It read,
"Dear God,
How can I ever thank you enough for what you did for me? Because
of your gift of love, I was able to fix a glorious dinner for my
friends. We had a very nice day and I told my friends of your
wonderful gift. By the way, there was $4 missing. I think it must
have been those bastards at the Post Office..
The end...
Dats Y I say... Life is a Bitch... But live it...... Dont stop doing Guuuuuud!
WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION
It was the day after India's Independence Day. A thoughtful Tony Blair who
had watched the celebrations on TV got onto the phone with his friend Bush:
"India!" shouted Blair.
"What about India?" asked a startled Bush.
"We English made a mistake George," said Blair, "I need to get India back as
a colony!"
"You serious Tony?" asked a still more startled Bush.
"Yeah this is not the India we let go some sixty years ago," said Blair,
"this is a colony we would be proud to have now."
"So whatcha plannin' to do?" asked Bush.
"Why George what we did to Saddam. Attack them."
"You sayin' we? You not hoping I'm goin' to join you are you?"
"I helped you in Iraq George, you forgettin' or sometin'?"
"Yeah but we had an excuse there Tony, we were lookin' for weapons of mass
destruction, you remember?"
"So we do the same thing here George. We tell the Indians to give up their
weapons of mass destruction! "
"I don't know whether we are doing the right thing Tony, India's a democracy
you know?"
"I lied for you in Iraq George. Nearly lost the elections for you. I'm sure
you could do this lil' favour for me. With India back as my colony, we'll be
back as a world power! Britain rules the world! You heard that phrase
George?"
"I thought it was America who was doin' the rulin' Tony."
"We'll do the rulin' together George. You and me will be equal partners once
I get my India back. Come on George talk to that Manmohan feller, tell him
to give up his weapons of mass destruction, or else..!"
"Okay Tony since you insist. Can you call me back in five minutes."
"Shall I get my ships ready?"
"For what?" asked a surprised Bush.
"For war dammit," shouted Tony as he put the phone down and waited for Bush
to talk to the Indian Prime Minister. He walked over to a little globe he
had on his office table and circled India gleefully.
The phone rang and he ran to pick it up. "Tony it's me," said George, "how
many ships you got ready?"
"Aye aye sir, the Royal Navy is ready for action!"said Tony, standing at
attention.
"You can send them to India," said Bush.
"To fight?" asked Blair happily."
"No to pick up their weapons of mass destruction. "
"Whatcha talkin' about?" asked a confused Blair.
"Manmohan said you would know 'cause it's your people who made them," said
Bush.
"What weapons of mass destruction? " whispered Blair uncertainly.
"Their politicians, their MP's, their MLA's," said Bush happily, "Manmohan
said you could take them all back to England where they were trained years
ago by your people to divide and rule..!"
had watched the celebrations on TV got onto the phone with his friend Bush:
"India!" shouted Blair.
"What about India?" asked a startled Bush.
"We English made a mistake George," said Blair, "I need to get India back as
a colony!"
"You serious Tony?" asked a still more startled Bush.
"Yeah this is not the India we let go some sixty years ago," said Blair,
"this is a colony we would be proud to have now."
"So whatcha plannin' to do?" asked Bush.
"Why George what we did to Saddam. Attack them."
"You sayin' we? You not hoping I'm goin' to join you are you?"
"I helped you in Iraq George, you forgettin' or sometin'?"
"Yeah but we had an excuse there Tony, we were lookin' for weapons of mass
destruction, you remember?"
"So we do the same thing here George. We tell the Indians to give up their
weapons of mass destruction! "
"I don't know whether we are doing the right thing Tony, India's a democracy
you know?"
"I lied for you in Iraq George. Nearly lost the elections for you. I'm sure
you could do this lil' favour for me. With India back as my colony, we'll be
back as a world power! Britain rules the world! You heard that phrase
George?"
"I thought it was America who was doin' the rulin' Tony."
"We'll do the rulin' together George. You and me will be equal partners once
I get my India back. Come on George talk to that Manmohan feller, tell him
to give up his weapons of mass destruction, or else..!"
"Okay Tony since you insist. Can you call me back in five minutes."
"Shall I get my ships ready?"
"For what?" asked a surprised Bush.
"For war dammit," shouted Tony as he put the phone down and waited for Bush
to talk to the Indian Prime Minister. He walked over to a little globe he
had on his office table and circled India gleefully.
The phone rang and he ran to pick it up. "Tony it's me," said George, "how
many ships you got ready?"
"Aye aye sir, the Royal Navy is ready for action!"said Tony, standing at
attention.
"You can send them to India," said Bush.
"To fight?" asked Blair happily."
"No to pick up their weapons of mass destruction. "
"Whatcha talkin' about?" asked a confused Blair.
"Manmohan said you would know 'cause it's your people who made them," said
Bush.
"What weapons of mass destruction? " whispered Blair uncertainly.
"Their politicians, their MP's, their MLA's," said Bush happily, "Manmohan
said you could take them all back to England where they were trained years
ago by your people to divide and rule..!"
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