Tuesday, September 11, 2007
Monday, August 06, 2007
TRACK UR GIRLFRIEND OR BOYFRIEND!!
This is amazing guys!
Do u wanna know, where your Girl Friend/Boy friend, Wife or husband is right now???????
A GPS site where you can type in a mobile phone number and it finds exactly where the location person is (assuming the mobile is switched on).
Try it out - it's pretty accurate.
Use your 10 digit Mobile number only………(no landline numbers)
Put in the first 4 digits in the first fields, and the remaining digits in the other field.
CLICK HERE TO ENTER
http://www.sat-gps-locate.com
Do u wanna know, where your Girl Friend/Boy friend, Wife or husband is right now???????
A GPS site where you can type in a mobile phone number and it finds exactly where the location person is (assuming the mobile is switched on).
Try it out - it's pretty accurate.
Use your 10 digit Mobile number only………(no landline numbers)
Put in the first 4 digits in the first fields, and the remaining digits in the other field.
CLICK HERE TO ENTER
http://www.sat-gps-locate.com
FIRST KISS
A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night and have dinner with her parents. Since this is such a big event, the girl announces to her boyfriend that after dinner, she would like to go out and make love for the first time.
* * * * * * * * *
Well, the boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex before, so he takes a trip to the pharmacist to get some condoms. He tells the pharmacist it's his first time and the pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour. He tells the boy everything there is to know about condoms and sex.
* * * * * * * * *
At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how manycondoms he'd like to buy, a 3-pack, 10-pack, or family pack. The boy insists on the family pack because he thinks he will be rather busy, it being his first time and all.
* * * * * * * * *
That night, the boy shows up at the girl's parents house and meets his girlfriend at the door. "Oh, I'm so excited for you to meet my parents, come on in!"
* * * * * * * * *
The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table where the girl's parents are seated. The boy quickly offers to say grace and bows his head.
* * * * * * * * *
A minute passes, and the boy is still deep in prayer, with his head down.
* * * * * * * * *
10 minutes pass, and still no movement from the boy.
* * * * * * * * *
Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the girlfriend leans over and whispers to the
boyfriend, "I had no idea you were this religious."
* * * * * * * *
The boy turns, and whispers back, "I had no idea your father was a pharmacist."
* * * * * * * * *
* * * * * * * * *
Well, the boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex before, so he takes a trip to the pharmacist to get some condoms. He tells the pharmacist it's his first time and the pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour. He tells the boy everything there is to know about condoms and sex.
* * * * * * * * *
At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how manycondoms he'd like to buy, a 3-pack, 10-pack, or family pack. The boy insists on the family pack because he thinks he will be rather busy, it being his first time and all.
* * * * * * * * *
That night, the boy shows up at the girl's parents house and meets his girlfriend at the door. "Oh, I'm so excited for you to meet my parents, come on in!"
* * * * * * * * *
The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table where the girl's parents are seated. The boy quickly offers to say grace and bows his head.
* * * * * * * * *
A minute passes, and the boy is still deep in prayer, with his head down.
* * * * * * * * *
10 minutes pass, and still no movement from the boy.
* * * * * * * * *
Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the girlfriend leans over and whispers to the
boyfriend, "I had no idea you were this religious."
* * * * * * * *
The boy turns, and whispers back, "I had no idea your father was a pharmacist."
* * * * * * * * *
APPRECIATION FOR KINDNESS
There was a man who worked for the Post Office whose job it was to
process all the mail that had illegible addresses.
One day, a letter came addressed in a shaky handwriting to God with
no actual address. He thought he should open it to see what it was
about. The letter read:
"Dear God,
I am an 83 year old widow, living on a very small pension..
Yesterday someone stole my purse. It had $100 in it, which was all
the money I had until my next pension check.
Next Sunday is Christmas, and I had invited two of my friends over
for dinner. Without that money, I have nothing to buy food with. I
have no family to turn to, and you are my only hope.
Can you please help me?
Sincerely,
Edna
The postal worker was touched. He showed the letter to all the
other workers. Each one dug into his or her wallet and came up with
a few dollars. By the time he made the rounds, he had collected $96,
which they put into an envelope and sent to the woman.
The rest of the day, all the workers felt a warm glow thinking of
Edna and the dinner she would be able to share with her friends.
Christmas came and went.
A few days later, another letter came from the same old lady to
God. All the workers gathered around while the letter was opened.
It read,
"Dear God,
How can I ever thank you enough for what you did for me? Because
of your gift of love, I was able to fix a glorious dinner for my
friends. We had a very nice day and I told my friends of your
wonderful gift. By the way, there was $4 missing. I think it must
have been those bastards at the Post Office..
The end...
Dats Y I say... Life is a Bitch... But live it...... Dont stop doing Guuuuuud!
process all the mail that had illegible addresses.
One day, a letter came addressed in a shaky handwriting to God with
no actual address. He thought he should open it to see what it was
about. The letter read:
"Dear God,
I am an 83 year old widow, living on a very small pension..
Yesterday someone stole my purse. It had $100 in it, which was all
the money I had until my next pension check.
Next Sunday is Christmas, and I had invited two of my friends over
for dinner. Without that money, I have nothing to buy food with. I
have no family to turn to, and you are my only hope.
Can you please help me?
Sincerely,
Edna
The postal worker was touched. He showed the letter to all the
other workers. Each one dug into his or her wallet and came up with
a few dollars. By the time he made the rounds, he had collected $96,
which they put into an envelope and sent to the woman.
The rest of the day, all the workers felt a warm glow thinking of
Edna and the dinner she would be able to share with her friends.
Christmas came and went.
A few days later, another letter came from the same old lady to
God. All the workers gathered around while the letter was opened.
It read,
"Dear God,
How can I ever thank you enough for what you did for me? Because
of your gift of love, I was able to fix a glorious dinner for my
friends. We had a very nice day and I told my friends of your
wonderful gift. By the way, there was $4 missing. I think it must
have been those bastards at the Post Office..
The end...
Dats Y I say... Life is a Bitch... But live it...... Dont stop doing Guuuuuud!
WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION
It was the day after India's Independence Day. A thoughtful Tony Blair who
had watched the celebrations on TV got onto the phone with his friend Bush:
"India!" shouted Blair.
"What about India?" asked a startled Bush.
"We English made a mistake George," said Blair, "I need to get India back as
a colony!"
"You serious Tony?" asked a still more startled Bush.
"Yeah this is not the India we let go some sixty years ago," said Blair,
"this is a colony we would be proud to have now."
"So whatcha plannin' to do?" asked Bush.
"Why George what we did to Saddam. Attack them."
"You sayin' we? You not hoping I'm goin' to join you are you?"
"I helped you in Iraq George, you forgettin' or sometin'?"
"Yeah but we had an excuse there Tony, we were lookin' for weapons of mass
destruction, you remember?"
"So we do the same thing here George. We tell the Indians to give up their
weapons of mass destruction! "
"I don't know whether we are doing the right thing Tony, India's a democracy
you know?"
"I lied for you in Iraq George. Nearly lost the elections for you. I'm sure
you could do this lil' favour for me. With India back as my colony, we'll be
back as a world power! Britain rules the world! You heard that phrase
George?"
"I thought it was America who was doin' the rulin' Tony."
"We'll do the rulin' together George. You and me will be equal partners once
I get my India back. Come on George talk to that Manmohan feller, tell him
to give up his weapons of mass destruction, or else..!"
"Okay Tony since you insist. Can you call me back in five minutes."
"Shall I get my ships ready?"
"For what?" asked a surprised Bush.
"For war dammit," shouted Tony as he put the phone down and waited for Bush
to talk to the Indian Prime Minister. He walked over to a little globe he
had on his office table and circled India gleefully.
The phone rang and he ran to pick it up. "Tony it's me," said George, "how
many ships you got ready?"
"Aye aye sir, the Royal Navy is ready for action!"said Tony, standing at
attention.
"You can send them to India," said Bush.
"To fight?" asked Blair happily."
"No to pick up their weapons of mass destruction. "
"Whatcha talkin' about?" asked a confused Blair.
"Manmohan said you would know 'cause it's your people who made them," said
Bush.
"What weapons of mass destruction? " whispered Blair uncertainly.
"Their politicians, their MP's, their MLA's," said Bush happily, "Manmohan
said you could take them all back to England where they were trained years
ago by your people to divide and rule..!"
had watched the celebrations on TV got onto the phone with his friend Bush:
"India!" shouted Blair.
"What about India?" asked a startled Bush.
"We English made a mistake George," said Blair, "I need to get India back as
a colony!"
"You serious Tony?" asked a still more startled Bush.
"Yeah this is not the India we let go some sixty years ago," said Blair,
"this is a colony we would be proud to have now."
"So whatcha plannin' to do?" asked Bush.
"Why George what we did to Saddam. Attack them."
"You sayin' we? You not hoping I'm goin' to join you are you?"
"I helped you in Iraq George, you forgettin' or sometin'?"
"Yeah but we had an excuse there Tony, we were lookin' for weapons of mass
destruction, you remember?"
"So we do the same thing here George. We tell the Indians to give up their
weapons of mass destruction! "
"I don't know whether we are doing the right thing Tony, India's a democracy
you know?"
"I lied for you in Iraq George. Nearly lost the elections for you. I'm sure
you could do this lil' favour for me. With India back as my colony, we'll be
back as a world power! Britain rules the world! You heard that phrase
George?"
"I thought it was America who was doin' the rulin' Tony."
"We'll do the rulin' together George. You and me will be equal partners once
I get my India back. Come on George talk to that Manmohan feller, tell him
to give up his weapons of mass destruction, or else..!"
"Okay Tony since you insist. Can you call me back in five minutes."
"Shall I get my ships ready?"
"For what?" asked a surprised Bush.
"For war dammit," shouted Tony as he put the phone down and waited for Bush
to talk to the Indian Prime Minister. He walked over to a little globe he
had on his office table and circled India gleefully.
The phone rang and he ran to pick it up. "Tony it's me," said George, "how
many ships you got ready?"
"Aye aye sir, the Royal Navy is ready for action!"said Tony, standing at
attention.
"You can send them to India," said Bush.
"To fight?" asked Blair happily."
"No to pick up their weapons of mass destruction. "
"Whatcha talkin' about?" asked a confused Blair.
"Manmohan said you would know 'cause it's your people who made them," said
Bush.
"What weapons of mass destruction? " whispered Blair uncertainly.
"Their politicians, their MP's, their MLA's," said Bush happily, "Manmohan
said you could take them all back to England where they were trained years
ago by your people to divide and rule..!"
Thursday, July 12, 2007
JOB DESCRIPTION
1. A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining and wants it back the minute it begins to
rain.
2. An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn't happen today.
3. A statistician is someone who is good with numbers but lacks the personality to be an accountant.
4. An actuary is someone who brings a fake bomb on a plane, because that decreases the chances that there will be
another bomb on the plane.
5. A programmer is someone who solves a problem you didn't know you had in a way you don't understand.
6. A mathematician is like a blind man in a dark room looking for a black cat that isn't there.
7. A topologist is a someone who doesn't know the difference between a coffee cup and doughnut.
8. A lawyer is a person who writes a 10,000 word document and calls it a "brief."
9. A psychologist is someone who watches everyone else when a beautiful girl enters the room.
10. A professor is one who talks in someone else's sleep.
11. A consultant is someone who takes the watch off your wrist and tells you the time.
12. A committee is a body that keeps minutes and wastes hours.
rain.
2. An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn't happen today.
3. A statistician is someone who is good with numbers but lacks the personality to be an accountant.
4. An actuary is someone who brings a fake bomb on a plane, because that decreases the chances that there will be
another bomb on the plane.
5. A programmer is someone who solves a problem you didn't know you had in a way you don't understand.
6. A mathematician is like a blind man in a dark room looking for a black cat that isn't there.
7. A topologist is a someone who doesn't know the difference between a coffee cup and doughnut.
8. A lawyer is a person who writes a 10,000 word document and calls it a "brief."
9. A psychologist is someone who watches everyone else when a beautiful girl enters the room.
10. A professor is one who talks in someone else's sleep.
11. A consultant is someone who takes the watch off your wrist and tells you the time.
12. A committee is a body that keeps minutes and wastes hours.
THE REASON WHY I FIRED MY SECRETARY
Two weeks ago was my forty-fifth birthday, and I wasn't feeling too hot that morning anyway.
I went to breakfast knowing my wife would be pleasant and say "Happy Birthday", and would probably have a present
for me..
She didn't even say "Good Morning", Let alone any "Happy Birthday".
I thought, "Well, that's wives for you. Maybe the children will remember". The children came in to breakfast and
didn't say a word. When I started to the office I was feeling pretty low and despondent
As I walked into my office, my secretary Janet said "Good morning boss, Happy Birthday".
So I felt a little better; someone had remembered I worked until noon. Then Janet knocked on my door and
said "You know, it's such a beautiful day outside and it's your birthday let's go to lunch, just you and me."
I said "By George that's the best thing I've heard all day. Let's go.."
We went to lunch. We didn't go where we normally go. We went out into the country to a little private
place, We had two martinis and enjoyed lunch tremendously...
On the way back to the office, she said, "You know, it's such a beautiful day We don't need to go back to the office,
do we???"
I said, "No, I guess not" . She said, "Let's go to my apartment". After arriving at her apartment she said, "Boss, if
you don't mind I think I'll go into the bedroom and slip into something more comfortable..."
Sure, "I excitedly replied". She went into the bedroom and, In about six minutes, she came out carrying a big
birthday cake followed by my wife, children and dozens of our friends...
All were singing " Happy Birthday"
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
And there on the couch I sat... Naked.....
I went to breakfast knowing my wife would be pleasant and say "Happy Birthday", and would probably have a present
for me..
She didn't even say "Good Morning", Let alone any "Happy Birthday".
I thought, "Well, that's wives for you. Maybe the children will remember". The children came in to breakfast and
didn't say a word. When I started to the office I was feeling pretty low and despondent
As I walked into my office, my secretary Janet said "Good morning boss, Happy Birthday".
So I felt a little better; someone had remembered I worked until noon. Then Janet knocked on my door and
said "You know, it's such a beautiful day outside and it's your birthday let's go to lunch, just you and me."
I said "By George that's the best thing I've heard all day. Let's go.."
We went to lunch. We didn't go where we normally go. We went out into the country to a little private
place, We had two martinis and enjoyed lunch tremendously...
On the way back to the office, she said, "You know, it's such a beautiful day We don't need to go back to the office,
do we???"
I said, "No, I guess not" . She said, "Let's go to my apartment". After arriving at her apartment she said, "Boss, if
you don't mind I think I'll go into the bedroom and slip into something more comfortable..."
Sure, "I excitedly replied". She went into the bedroom and, In about six minutes, she came out carrying a big
birthday cake followed by my wife, children and dozens of our friends...
All were singing " Happy Birthday"
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
And there on the couch I sat... Naked.....
Wednesday, July 04, 2007
DUBAI-THE DREAMLAND
Dubai in 1990
The same place in 2003
Dubai is said to currently have 15-25% of all the world's cranes
The Dubai Waterfront-When completed it will become the largest waterfront development in the world
The Palm Islands in Dubai-New Dutch dredging technology was used to create these massive man made islands. They are the largest artificial islands in the world and can be seen from space. Three of these Palms will be made with the last one being the largest of them all.
Upon completion, the resort will have 2,000 villas, 40 luxury hotels, shopping centers, movie theaters, and many other facilities. It is expected to support a population of approximately 500,000 people. It is advertised as being visible from the moon.
The World Islands-300 artificially created islands in the shape of the world. Each island will have an estimated cost of $25-30 million.
The Burj al-Arab hotel in Dubai-The worlds tallest hotel. Considered the only '7 star' hotel and the most luxurious hotel in the world. It stands on an artificial island in the sea
Hydropolis, the world's first underwater hotel. Entirely built in Germany and then assembled in Dubai, it is scheduled to be completed soon.
The Burj Dubai-Construction began in 2005 and is expected to be complete by 2008. At an estimated height of over 800 meters, it will easily the be world's tallest building when finished. It will be almost 40% taller than the the current tallest building, the Taipei 101.
This is what downtown Dubai will look like around 2008-2009. Fifty stories (around 190 meters) of the Burj Dubai have already been completed.
The Al Burj-This will be the centerpiece of the Dubai Waterfront. Upon completion it will rival The Burj Dubai for the title of tallest building in the world.
The exact height of the building is being kept strictly confidential for reasons of competition. Since the Al Burj and Burj Dubai are both striving to become the world's tallest building, it is rumored that the Al Burj will be built a little higher since the Burj Dubai will be completed first.
The Burj al Alam, or The World Tower. Upon completion it will rank as the world's highest hotel. It is expected to be finished by 2009.
At 480 meters it will only be 28 meters shorter than the Taipei 101.
Dubailand. Currently, the largest amusement park collection in the world is Walt Disney World Resort in Orlando, which is also the largest single-site employer in the United states with 58,000 employees. Dubailand will be twice the size.
Dubailand will be built on 3 billion square feet (107 miles^2) at an estimated $20 billion price tag. The site will include a purported 45 mega projects and 200 hundred other smaller projects.
Dubai Sports City-A huge collection of sports arenas located in Dubailand.
Currently, the Walt Disney World Resort is the #1 tourist destination in the world. Once fully completed, Dubailand will easily take over that title since it is expected to attract 200,000 visitors daily.
Ocean Heights and The Princess Tower, two huge luxury condominium and apartment towers to be built on the Dubai Marina. At over 100 stories tall, The Princess Tower will become the largest residential building in the world after construction is done.
The Dubai Marina is an entirely man made development that will contain over 200 highrise buildings when finished. It will be home to some of the tallest residential structures in the world. The completed first phase of the project is shown. Most of the other high rise buildings will be finished by 2008.
The Dubai Mall will be the largest shopping mall in the world with over 9 million square feet of shopping and around 1000 stores. It will be completed in 2008.
Ski Dubai, which is already open, is the largest indoor skiing facility in the world.
Some of the tallest buildings in the world will line the Dubai Marina.
The UAE Spaceport would be the first spaceport in the world if construction ever gets under way. All right this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Some other other crazy facts...
*The Dubai Metro system, once completed, will become the largest fully automated rail system in the world.
*The Dubai World Central International Airport will become the largest airport in size when it is completed. It will also eventually become the busiest airport in the world, based on passenger volume.
*There are more construction workers in Dubai than there are actual citizens (although Dubai does has a 80% expatriate population).
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